Don’t dig your garden!

5 Mar 2019 at 00:22 (Random Randomness) (, )

Something I’ve been reading about recently is no-dig gardening. So you’ve probably been told by every book, TV show, grandparent or gardener that digging is absolutely essential for gardening. But this is not true! Digging actually damages the soil. Have a look at these links:
The No-Dig Approach
Stop Killing Your Soil

Having healthy plants is more about having healthy soil. Look after the soil, and the plants will look after themselves.

Don’t believe me? Who’s digging up the forest soil for all that growth?

Speaking of which, I finally got round to green manuring a patch of the garden. I didn’t have much luck with winter rye last time round, so this time I tried field beans. I had a germination rate of 100%, plus I got a decent amount of growth from November to February. I had a vague memory of reading an article saying to cut the plants down, then cover with cardboard (even though every other article I’ve seen does the digging spiel). So that’s what I’ve done. It will take about a month to decompose, and we’ll see how the soil is after. But yes, cut and drop. Leave the roots buried, and let the foliage sit on the soil. The worms will do all the work.

I didn’t plant them densely enough, plus I should have planted them earlier. So next year I’m hoping I can do the whole border, starting early October and I’ll plant them way more densely. Oh another problem I had was the blasted squirrel kept digging them up. For why, I have no idea. Probably just to annoy me. Blessed squirrel also broke my squirrel-proof feeder. Damn you, écu, damn you.

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How many things am I allergic to?

18 Nov 2018 at 20:59 (Plastic Vegan, Random Randomness) (, )

After over four years of waiting, I finally got hold of some eggs from Stepney Farm! I gave up eggs shortly after giving up dairy, because I love baby chicks and knowing that every time I ate an egg, a baby chick was going to be killed was enough to make me stop. Stepney Farm takes in rescue hens, and they have cockerels too. I’ve visited a few times, and they are open six days a week, so anyone can go and see how they treat their animals. I’m satisfied they are taking good care of their chickens, and they spread awareness about the cruelty that’s still legal in the EU.

I was planning on using some of their eggs to make a vanilla cake, because, let’s face it, vegan vanilla cakes suck. Instead I ended up having egg and chips for three days.

And I really wish I didn’t.
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Random Thought #682

26 Oct 2018 at 17:25 (Random Randomness) ()

Isn’t it strange how the word “name” is so similar in many languages?
All the languages I’ve studied to a greater or lesser extent:

English: NAME
French: NOM
Portuguese: NOME
Irish: AINM
Italian: NOME
Gujarati: NAAM
Japanese: NAMAE
Finnish: NIMENI

I mean, Japanese and Finnish aren’t even related to any of the other languages on this list (nor to each other, of course). But you still have the pattern of an N sound followed by an M sound.

These are what I looked up on bing translate:
Spanish: NOMBRE
Swedish: NAMN
Romanian: NUME
Indonesian: NAMA
Greek: Όνομα (onoma?)
German: NAMEN

Of course, while looking these up, I found quite a few that didn’t follow the pattern. Even so, I’ve always found this pattern to be very interesting! Are there any other words you know that are similar across multiple, even unconnected, languages?

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Page 48 — Final Goodbyes

22 May 2018 at 15:18 (Ace Attorney, Naruhodo Gyakuten Saiban!, Random Randomness, Translations)

Coming when it comes

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In Memory of Pitto and Toffee — Raising Awareness of Strokes and Gastric Infections in Budgies

11 Mar 2018 at 16:49 (Random Randomness) (, , , , )

Pitto passed away from a stroke on the morning of the 18th of November 2017. He was definitely the cheekiest bird I ever had.

The moment I saw him in the petshop, I knew that this was my Pitto. He was always super-nervous (probably because the woman in the petshop was scared of budgies, then put the box he was in upright, then tied a PLASTIC BAG over it, almost suffocating my baby and probably traumatising him for life. Seriously, WTH?!).

He was scared of the dark, scared of Biscuit, but whenever he and Biscuit were up to mischief, it was always Pitto’s idea. I know this, because Biscuit has been as good as gold since 😦
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Blast from the Past: Piranha Hints and Soundtrack!

27 Aug 2017 at 16:10 (Random Randomness) (, , , , )

I guess I don’t give my PC enough credit. Not only did I get Piranha to run, I also managed to record the soundtrack without any (well very little and easily fixable) skipping. While I wait for the mp3s to upload, here are some PROTIPS for you:
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Rob Blanc! ROB BLANC! And Childhood Gaming Nostalgia

26 Aug 2017 at 12:13 (Random Randomness) (, , , , , , , , )

I downloaded the Rob Blanc games and some others by Yahtzee a year or two ago, but alas, modern technology and all that. And while I do still have a Windoze 98 box, it’s a lot of trouble to get out, so these games have been gathering metaphorical dust on my D drive, until I was like, oh yeah! DOS Box! Duhhhhh.

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Photobucket Disables Hotlinking

23 Jul 2017 at 15:29 (Random Randomness) (, )

Just noticed my photobucket images have been replaced with a ransomware! Okay, well an extortion to pay up if I want to see my images on this blog and my storybooks again.

My response to you, Photobucket: Arkell vs Pressdram.

Rather than watching the money come rolling in, Photobucket is going to see its users leave in droves! Nice one, PB! Are you taking lessons from EA?

More info:


Looks like someone got a clue. Photobucket has a new CEO, who is making an effort to fix things:

So our images are no longer ransomwared, but we have to put up with a massive (despite what they say) watermark. I can live with that, I guess. At least it’s a step in the right direction. I mean $400 a year, as if!

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Lenovo Tab3 7 Review

23 Jul 2017 at 15:01 (Random Randomness) (, , , , )

No, I’m not reviewing the same product twice. My last review was for the Tab3 7 Essential, which had major battery problems. I purchased that one from Argos, who kept me waiting almost 6 weeks, until I got fed up and went in person to ask what was going on, only to be told that there had been “complications” in getting it to the repair service, which my sister said was code for “one of the staff nicked it”. Well good luck to whoever did, if that is the case. May the tablet die on you at the most inconvenient times.
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Happy Belated Eid

27 Jun 2017 at 16:27 (Artwork, Random Randomness) ()

I have no idea how to write Happy Eid in Irish. I hope this makes sense!

Graphics from:,,, shabbyprincess. Other graphics by me.

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Learning to Let Go

12 Jun 2017 at 22:22 (Random Randomness) ()

A Short Story

It was a little over two years ago that I returned to my home town after many years’ absence. Walking down my old street, I stopped outside my childhood home, noticing the For Sale sign.

On the outside, at least, it was mostly the same. Money had been tight when we lived there, and the paintwork wanted redoing, the pebble-dash had chipped off, exposing the brickwork. Now, the new owners had restored the old Victorian terrace to its former glory, no longer the shame of the street.

I gazed up at all three floors, remembering. I felt a longing, a pining, to spend a few minutes in my place, to experience a small taste of my former happiness, to feel, just for a moment, that simple childhood innocence.

I was only 11 when we’d moved. I wasn’t really sure why; money, I think. It was all very sudden, and I didn’t deal with the change well. I liked stability, familiarity. Needed it. I’d spent a lot of time in my room, my safe haven. I’d never been able to get emotionally close to anyone. I had siblings, cousins, but I could never relate to them all that well. There was always this gulf between us; I didn’t understand their ways, they didn’t understand mine. If something upset me, I would take to my room, the one place I could truly be myself, where I was never judged, never made to feel like a misfit. It was my own space, my sole friend who rejoiced with me, learned with me, wept with me.

When we moved, I had to share a room with my sister, she took it over, it was her place, and I was a stranger once more. I no longer had the comfort my room had given me, I couldn’t deal with negative feelings well anymore. They said I had behavioural issues, and took me to doctors.

Now I was back. Welcome home, old friend, the house seemed to say. I felt an ache in my heart. It would not be on the market forever, I would likely never return here again. Would I want to spend the rest of my life regretting losing the chance?


I was able to arrange a viewing that very afternoon. The previous occupiers had already moved on, and the place was mostly stripped of furnishings. The new double-glazing muffled the hum of traffic from the main road, isolated us.

Looking around, it was different. Of course the décor had changed, I’d expected that, but what I hadn’t expected was just how thoroughly the house would be gutted.

The old wooden staircase, with its creaky boards and worn carpet, was replaced with a spiral stairwell of laminated glass and cold, hard, shiny chrome. The front room and living room had been merged into one; picture perfect, sterile, hard corners. Even the garden was stripped bare, the lawn replaced with a barren patio, the plants replaced with decorative pots and willow sculptures. The warmth, the life, that had once permeated the very walls was gone, replaced with this shiny newness, silence, stifling. My parents had bought the house for £50,000 back in the 70s. Its asking price was nearly a million now. It was too good for me.

My pulse began to race as I made my way up to the top floor, where my old bedroom had been. The one place in all the world I had felt completely secure, where I had been accepted, cherished.

I knew, even as I placed my hand on the door handle, that it had been a mistake. I snatched my hand away, as though I’d been stung. I didn’t want to see, didn’t want to know. I wanted to keep it in my heart the way I remembered it.

This house belonged to someone else now. It was not my place anymore, however much of the old structure remained, however similar it looked on the outside. The old house was there, deep down — but too deep down. Essentially lost forever, for no one would want to put the effort into reverting it to its old charm.

I cried a tear. Of course I did, but just the one. It’s always a mistake to revisit the past, to expect things to stay the same. As if the house that I loved could ever love me back.

I made my way to the front door, lesson learned. Let the past stay in the past.

I didn’t look back.

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Lenovo Tab3 7 Essential Review

12 Jun 2017 at 18:47 (Random Randomness) (, , , )

Yes, I finally got round to buying a tablet, as this computer (see the review) is so painfully slow. I really just wanted something to browse the net with, access my emails without having to load up my PC or the inevitable crash if using this fossil of a phone my parents donated to me.

Now what I will say is that the Tab3 is more powerful than my PC. It can actually handle Youtube and web-browsing without crying. I installed a few language-learning apps on it, the more functional tablet-version of Telegram, and they work fine. The screen res is nice, the display is crisp and clear. The cameras probably suck, though I never used them much.

Now I have to qualify all that by saying the battery causes all sorts of problems. It frequently just suddenly dies in the middle of use, even when there is 30%+ battery life still showing. If you leave it in sleep mode overnight, chances are it’ll have completely drained by morning and you won’t even be able to switch it on until you’ve charged it at least 10 minutes. Even on the times it’s working okay, the battery still drains quite quickly. An hour of Internet browsing, even with screen brightness on minimum and sound off, can take you from 100% to 50%. No lie.

I thought I just had a faulty unit, but other people are having similar problems. Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware that the Tories (who else?) gave with one hand and took away with another. In the UK you are no longer entitled to an automatic refund on faulty goods unless you report the fault within 30 days. The problem with dodgy hardware is it’s not always so obvious. Thanks, Tories. So now I am stuck with a faulty tablet that can die on me at any time, therefore rendering it useless as a mobile device. Only I’m not, because Argos sent it for repairs over a month ago, and the staff have no idea themselves what is going on with it. Thanks again, Tories.

I really don’t know what it is with tech I buy from Argos. DSi — couldn’t switch it off or return to main menu while it was charging, although this eventually disappeared with a firmware update. Wacom Bamboo — well is not fault, is feature: the nibs wear down super quickly. Netbook — faulty. Archos MP3 player — faulty. Lenovo Tab3 — faulty.

Final verdict: it’s a good budget tablet if you’re willing to keep it plugged in 24/7 and maybe not even then. 2/5 as it is. 5/5 if they sort out the sudden death.

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Free Scrapbook Printables

4 Jun 2017 at 19:12 (Artwork, Random Randomness) (, , )

Here are some printable graphics I made for a couple of scrapbooks I’m making. Some of them are completely original, some are recreations of elements I saw in other people’s work. If anything looks too similar to a graphic you are the copyright holder of, just let me know, and I’ll take it down. Some graphics use shapes/textures from,, and another free graphics site, but I can’t remember which one 😦

These are thumbnails. Click to see full-size. Right-click > Save Link As… to save the image. You can use these for digital scrapbooks, too, but you might want to add a drop-shadow. These were really designed for my physical scrapbooks. You might need to play around with your printer settings. I recommend creating a test-sheet first so you can see how colours translate from the screen to paper. I find that a gsm of between 100 and 130 is best for scrapbook graphics.

TOU: Non-commercial use only. Feel free to create derivative works for sharing, just don’t claim credit as entirely your own. You don’t have to link here, just don’t pretend you made it from scratch.
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Duolingo Review plus Supplemental Notes for Irish!

23 Apr 2017 at 17:02 (Random Randomness) (, , , , )

(Clicky here to go straight to the supplemental Irish notes)

I’ve been studying Irish using Duolingo for 72 days now and I will say that I quite like it. Having said that, it has plenty of flaws. I started off on the app version, as going to the website on mobile was all ZOMG APP!!111 so I didn’t even realise there was a web version at first.

The first thing I noticed was the lessons were not even lessons: they’re just drills. The first few “lessons” were okay, but once it got to the more complex concepts, like lenition and eclipsis, there was no way on Earth I could have got the concept relying on the app alone. There was talk of a “Tips and Notes” section in the lesson discussions, only it turns out the most useful part of a language programme (i.e. the actual teaching bit) is completely omitted from the app and only available on the web version, which to me is a really, really big flaw.
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Friend Robin

17 Apr 2017 at 15:29 (Random Randomness) (, , , )

Here are my new friend robins, Hoppy and Hoppily. Hoppy (the male) was easy to tame, but his mate took a lot longer to come around, and for a while I had to keep my face turned away from her to get her to eat from my hand. Hoppy is rather trusting now, and was happy to eat from my nephew’s hand, also Hoppy tends to atttack anyone emerging from the house as he immediately assumes it’s me with my worm box. Hoppily is very cheeky and will usually try to get worms out of the box rather than from me if she can.

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The EAxis of Stupidity and More Weird Glitches

17 Apr 2017 at 13:54 (Random Randomness, Sims 2) (, , , )

I know, I can’t believe either that it’s taken me 10 years to know this is a thing, but, wow, way to go, EAxis. No one sucks quite like you do (Thoma$$ sucks more, but in a different way). So actual in-game non-cheatery functions can cause your hoods to implode. I’ve done some VBTs to my main playing hood, namely deleting sims from the bin and moving sims in their lots from one neighbourhood to another. So realising it’s only a matter of time (although it could be a long time, who knows) before my hood turns into a BFBVFS, I thought it better to just extract my sims with SimSurgery and create a brand new hood and place a list of things not to do as the neighbourhood description. Since it’s been years since I played any of my old families, I can’t remember their stats anyway, so I’m fine with starting them again.

The problem is, EAxis insist on planting those premades into your family bin, and control freak that I am, I just don’t want any playables that I didn’t make in my main hood. I followed the safe(r) method tutorial to delete them only now neither of the two new households I created are ageing. I thought the problem was the recent installation of a lifespan mod but after testing it seems the problem is more likely the batbox stage of deleting sims as before that the sim was ageing fine. So my new supposed to be unborked hood is now borked even more than my worked neighbourhood. Way to go EA. If you had just had the sense to create a non-BFBVFS delete function this wouldn’t even be an issue. So now that hood has to be scrapped too.

Anyway even before that the hood was creating problems. I packaged up the community lots from the old hood, cleared out any cc in the sims2pack then installed them. But when I went to edit one of my community lots (even though i have ofb I don’t remember a sim ever purchasing a community lot so i don’t think that has anything to do with it), the host podium had a sign on the front, the chef was in the kitchen and the cooker was in use. I used moveobjects on to remove them, only while redecorating I got an “out of funds” message??? What?!

Exiting the game and reloading seemed to fix it but why did it happen to start with??

Okay I forgot that the no disc crack I used for Seasons was only for the unpatched version. I don’t have a built in disc drive on my netbook, so I prefer to use cracked exes when I can. Anyway I forgot to check if a patched version for Seasons was available before patching (it’s not) so I tried to uninstall the game only i kept getting that same message i got when I tried to uninstall the failed install of Sims 1, is that the program didn’t install properly. So I’ve system restored in the hopes that the unpatched version would be back only it hasn’t BUT the uninstaller is running so right now I’m backing up all my saves (taking ages and that’s not even including the DL folder which I backed up yesterday). Oh my gosh EAxis are so incompetent. Why is it that every other game I have, I can install, play, create CC, download CC uninstall and not have to worry about, but with anything by EA it’s just problem after problem? EA, why do you suck so much? Is it an art form you work to perfect or does or just come naturally?

So right now I’m hoping that i remembered everything that needs backing up and that the uninstaller works properly and i can restore my existing hoods (ya never know, I might finish Jasmine’s story one day).

Oh well, here goes…

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There’s no such thing as a split infinitive

8 Mar 2017 at 20:04 (Previous Polls, Random Randomness)

The infinitive of “go” is just “go”.
“To go” is a prepositional phrase headed by the word “to”.
Really though, it doesn’t matter at all.

New poll:

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Poetry by the The East Cheam Cultural Progressive Society

25 Jun 2016 at 18:29 (Random Randomness) ()

All credit to Ray Galton and Alan Simpson. We never did get to hear Greta’s poem.

Tin Can, by Gregory

Splish, splash, splonk.
Wooden shoes, red socks,
Carvings, tombstones, and tranquillisers.
Aspirins and driving tests
Jet-planes and skeletons.
Frog singing to egg-timer.
Calendars and candles upside down,
Plastic apples on coconut trees.
Splish, splash, splonk.

Blank Detail, by Rupert

Straw in the wind,
Straw in the wind,
Straw in the wind,
Straw in the wind,
Straw in the wind.
Fly, fly, fly!

Incandescence, by William

Hic haec hoc
Rinky tinky on purple grass
Shafts of light
Hobnailed boots
Tramping down the bamboo
That grows upwards,
Downwards, sideways
Into the concrete cosmos
Life is mauve
I am orange.
Hic haec hoc.

The Ashtray, by Anthony

Steel rods of reason through my head.
Salmon jumping; where jump I?
Camels on fire, and spotted clouds.
Striped horses prance the meadow wild
And rush on to drink at life’s fountains deep.
Life is cream, I am puce.
Ching chang chollah.

Limbo, by Sidney

Mauve world, green me
Black him, purple her
Yellow us, pink you
Lead pipes, fortune made
Six to four, come in second
Green country, blue Haringey and White City
Hic haec hoc.

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Vegan Root Vegetable Rosti

16 Apr 2016 at 21:07 (Plastic Vegan, Random Randomness) (, , , )


As a side dish, this could serve between 4 and 6 people. If you’re me, this is enough for two meals 😐

They freeze well. Just wrap individually in foil or greaseproof paper and tie up in a freezer bag. Use within three months.

Be warned, this takes AGES to make if you grate by hand (which I have to 😦 ) I really recommend a food processor with a grater attachment.

The following quantities are just approximate. Feel free to alter proportions to your taste.

500g potatoes, scrubbed not peeled
300g sweet potato, peeled
250g swede, peeled
1/2 large leek, trimmed
2 large carrots, peeled

1 tbsp ground flaxseed
3 tbsp water

1/4 tsp salt
3 tbsp cornflour or plain white flour
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Paper Mache Storage Unit

16 Apr 2016 at 20:20 (Artwork, Random Randomness) ()

A thing I made for my mum! I finally finished this on the 1st of March! It’s made out of three shoeboxes reinforced with card, then paper machéd with newspaper and cooked-flour-paste. Painted with one coat of brilliant white emulsion, then acrylic paint. Embellished with half pearls and rhinestones.




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Paper Mache Baby Sofa Finally Finished!

16 Apr 2016 at 20:07 (Artwork, Random Randomness) (, )

I finally finished this on the 12th of March 2016. Here’s what it looks like!


Stencilling should be done with sponges and not regular paintbrushes. I had to learn this by experience.


Not only can it take the weight of a toddler, it can take the weight of two toddlers and one me, making it strong enough to support 80kg+!!


And the kids loved it, so it was a job well done. The end.

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Clarys’s Song

13 Mar 2016 at 20:14 (Random Randomness, Translations) (, , , , )

I seem to have this terrible habit of killing off my protagonists’ parents (count: 5/6 protagonists so far). Since Kiki has a song mourning the loss of her father, I thought it would be nice for Clarys to have a song too. Evil. I have no creativity: Clarys and Kiki both lost their mothers when they were babies, and then their fathers when they were children. I’m terrible.

Because I cannot compose melodies to save my life, I used this lovely lullaby sung by the amazing Erika Ferris. I hope it is not considered disrespectful to compose alternative lyrics for a traditional folk song.

Now I have a feeling my lyrics have grammatical/vocab mistakes in them. If any of them are a case of “This REALLY doesn’t mean what you think it means,” please do correct them. If, however, they can be excused by poetic licence and/or that fact that this song would have been written by a ten year old girl, please do so! Writing lyrics in a language you are not proficient in is hard enough, but to get them to fit to a melody is even harder. So please don’t rain on my parade except to save me from looking stupid. If you want to record these, it’s fine, but be sure to check with a native speaker that the lyrics are okay before you do 🙂

I might draw a picture to go with this, but it’s been a super long time since I drew a proper piece, so I dunno.

Hoshi o miagete,
futari de yozora o
mitsumeta to omoidashite,
kokoro ga itai.
I look up at the stars,
and I remember how the two of us would watch the night sky together,
and I feel a pain in my heart.
Hoshi no katachi
wa ai no nagare o
tadoru deshou ka? Namida
tsugi tsugi chiru.
Will the pattern of the stars trace
the flow of my love?
My tears fall one by one.
Ima, shizukesa
ni hitori de tatteru.
Namida ni hoshiakari
ga zutto utsuru.
Now I stand alone in the silence.
My tears will forever reflect the starlight.
Namida ni watashi no ai
ga zutto utsuru.
My tears will forever reflect my love.

Japanese and English lyrics both © Clarissa S/Silver Arrows 2016. All Rights Reserved.

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Dave McGowan battling aggressive cancer: wrote 9/11 was a lie on 9/12

24 Nov 2015 at 22:46 (Random Randomness)

RIP Dave McGowan. May your work not have been in vain.

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8 Nov 2015 at 20:21 (Random Randomness) (, , )

This is the fruit of Passiflora caerulea.


And this is the fruit inside.


I’m not sure if it was completely ripe. It tasted okay anyway.

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12 Oct 2015 at 23:31 (Plastic Vegan, Random Randomness) (, , , )

Oh my gosh, I have work tomorrow. I should be in bed.


Seriously, bean juice. It’s awesome. I tried it and it works!

Pics and more info to come later, because it’s way too late right now. Check out the link above for all the info you need.

VEGAN EGG, for seriously.




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So Mr Polopetsi has finally been remembered!

7 Oct 2015 at 22:22 (Random Randomness) (, , , , , )

A quick note to say that McCall Smith has finally remembered that there was a man called Mr Polopetsi working for the agency. The backpedalling is actually quite funny! It’s too late to save it! Your editors failed you and now everyone knows you forgot Mr Polopetsi.


I honestly doubt he ever reads any of his fanmail. I remember shooting an email to his fanmail address about the mysterious disappearance of Mr Polopetsi, and that was waaaaaaay back in the Saturday Big Tent days. And I bet a few others must have done so, too. It’s been four books since then :O

ETA: Now I see it, and I can’t believe I never thought of this before. I bet he uses a ghostwriter. How else can he have so many continuity errors?

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27 Sep 2015 at 18:03 (Random Randomness) (, , )

I tend to buy avocados, and then not eat them. Anyway, this time, I decided to be serious about planting the seed and seeing if I could get it to germinate.

Online there’s all this long stuff about toothpicks and jars of water, who has the time? So I just chucked it in a pot of compost, left it on my windowsill and kept it moist. After about two months, there was nothing happening — or so it seemed. When I started to empty the pot, the seed had cracked and a root was growing out! So back into the pot it went, a quick prayer that I hadn’t killed it, and after a couple more weeks, I was rewarded with this!

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Blast from the Past — Tinkle Tots!

27 Sep 2015 at 17:22 (Random Randomness) (, , )


Tomy’s Tinkle Tots, also called Pipi Baby, and Bikinis.

I have two islands and three shells. The shells we got from one of those discount shops in Wood Green, mid 90s. I believe I was already in secondary school, or near to it, at the time we got these. I remember fixating on them and dreaming about having the full set 😦 As in actually dreaming. I really wanted the Rainbow Shower Island, and a Lullaby Moon. I remember the adverts, even though I believe they stopped airing long before we got these. “In their lullaby moooooon!”

My sister has the boat island, with one of the brown haired boys.

The islands we found some months later in Woolworths, reduced to clear. They were the proper retail quality UK versions (no gender-bending!)

Enough talking! Time for pictures!
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Rudy Simone and Aspergirls

2 Aug 2015 at 18:09 (Random Randomness) (, , , , , , )

I feel a little bit disillusioned with Rudy Simone. Aspergirls was my absolute favourite Aspie resource, for the first time I’d found every single “you’re such a weirdo/freak/shame on the family” moment I’d had explained, understood, accepted. For the first time I found people who really really knew what it was like for me, to know that I wasn’t just a weirdo/freak/shame on the family, but there was a reason for my being a misfit, and it wasn’t my fault. This book was like the best friend I never had.

But after Rudy Simone’s “I’m not Aspie anymore” speech it feels a little disingenuous.

Having said that, I still really do recommend the book. It helped me in so many ways.

First up, I want to make this bit clear: I don’t have a problem with her statement that “I truly don’t feel autistic anymore”.

After a few years of reading through Aspie forums, I’ve read of many people reaching adulthood feeling like they wouldn’t qualify for a diagnosis anymore. If you’ve been reading my posts on Asperger’s on here, you’ll see that I also feel like I might not even be obviously Aspie enough to qualify for one anymore. For me, Asperger’s = negative. So now I’ve managed to reduce the severity of the negative aspects by giving up dairy, I do kind of feel like I’m going native. But I know that my brain processes are still inherently neuroAtypical. I know that however much I may present as “normal”, and however well I’ve learned to navigate this NT world, inside I still think like an Aspie, I still stim like an Aspie, I still loathe uninvited touch like as Aspie, I still have aversions like an Aspie, I still get stuck on social situations I havn’t rehearsed for like as Aspie, I still see things from an Aspie point of view (and don’t see the things NT do).
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The First Sign of Madness..?

2 Aug 2015 at 15:57 (Random Randomness) (, , , , )

You’re bound to have heard this one:

They say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.

The ever-elusive “they”! But is it really? You see, for me as an Aspie, talking to myself is the only way I can effectively interact with the outside world.

Verbal communication does not come naturally to me. My way of thinking is primarily visual and abstract. If I don’t rehearse what I need to say before-hand, all that will come out is a jumbled mixture of sounds and random syllables. So what I spend a lot of time doing is something called “scripting”. Although this is different from the echolalia-type scripting, which I will talk about later.

If you were to be creepy and place a spy-cam in my room, a good deal of the time you would see me, sitting on the bed, doing what appears to be talking to imaginary friends. What I’m doing, then, is practising how to talk.
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