Pit’s Revenge Part Deux

12 January 2009 at 23:00 (Kid Icarus, Kid Liquorice, Random Randomness) (, , , , , )

(Part One is here)

Pit re-read the missive he’d received two days ago.

FAO Kid Icky
Our last battle was unreliable and unfair. The air in Skyworld is too thin and how do you expect me to fight when I am nearly fainting from lack of oxygen? I demand a rematch at a neutral location. I will meet you on Tuesday at Space Station 0 at exactly 10h00. If you don’t turn up I will assume you forfeit and I shall be the victor.
– Ike
PS I fight for my friends


Pit crumpled up the letter and tossed it over his shoulder. ‘Ha!’

Kid Liquorice tapped her feet impatiently. ‘And once you’ve finished your battle, you will be good friends again, won’t you, because I want to invite him to our house for tea. Oh look, he’s coming!’ She sighed. ‘He’s soooo handsome…’


‘We didn’t come here to admire the view!’ Pit snapped.

‘Didn’t we? I did.’

‘No, we didn’t! I’m here to settle some unfinished business. And don’t forget, this is my battle – don’t start singing.’

‘No, I won’t, Pit.’

‘Oh, and Kiki – try not to squee too much.’

‘I’ll try,’ she promised as she flew to the seats. ‘Good luck, Pit darling.’


Just as Kid Liquorice sat down, Ike arrived on stage. ‘Hello, Ike, darling!’ She called.

‘Hello, sweetie,’ he called back.

Pit threw his head back and laughed derisively. ‘Are you really so starved of female attention back home that you need to be admired by a kid, ha ha ha ha!’


Ike replied in kind. ‘It’s always nice to be admired – not that you would know.’

‘Take that back!’


Pit turned red with rage. ‘All right! Shōbu da!’

Ike drew his sword. ‘Prepare yourself.’

In the grandstand, Kid Liquorice could be heard calling, ‘Don’t hurt him too much, Pit, darling!’

Pit sighed. That girl! The distraction was enough for Ike to land a blow. ‘Argh!’


Pit was incandescent with rage.


‘It’ll take more that thaticus to beat me!’


But –


‘Ha! Take that, Kid Idiot!’

‘Get lost with the banana already!’


‘Ha ha ha! Eat dirt, Ike!’


‘Whut the..?’





‘Oh my head is spinning!’ Ike got so dizzy he fainted.


‘KIKI! I’m warning you, PUT THAT MISSILE DOWN!! This is my battle!’

‘Sorry, Pit, darling.’


‘Poor old Ike!’


‘Here, have a box of goodies, poor old Ike!’

Up in the grandstand, Kid Liquorice flinched. ‘Please be careful, Pit darling!’


Pit was so busy laughing that he didn’t notice Ike had a new trick up his sleeve. ‘You’re not the only one with a cannon, Kid Icky! Take that!’



But Ike was so trigger happy…

‘I could say “behind you” – ‘


‘ – but I won’t.’


Pit nearly collapsed in hysterics. ‘Dopius maximus!’



‘That’s it!’ yelled Ike. ‘I’m coming to get you, Shrimpicus! This time there will be no escape!!’


Pit tried not to smile.



‘That’s not scary, Ike. This is.’


‘All troops! MOVE OUT!!’

Kid Liquorice jumped out of her seat. ‘Squueeeeeee – I’m in the Icarus Army, can I move out too?’


Ike was now at Pit’s utter mercy.

‘Power, dude. I haz it. Give up?’



‘Give up!’


‘All righticus, it’s your funeral.’

And with a kick of his toes, Pit sent Ike hurtling through the warpzone to Final Destination.

‘Ike down… and out!’


And we have a new champion!

Meanwhile, at the strange world of Final Destination…


‘I don’t believe it, Ike. I really don’t believe it. You got beaten by Pit. That little shrimp!’


Ike turned away. ‘Huh!’

‘Who are you trying to fool with the manly pose, Ike? I can tell you’re trying not to cry. You’ve disgraced the world of Faia Emburemu. I am affronted!’


Ike was seething with anger and embarrassment. First getting beaten by that shrimp, and now being insulted by Prince Marth! ‘AAAEEETHHHHHHHERRRRRRRRRR!’


‘Oh noez! I think I just killed Prince Marth!’


‘No, I’m still alive *grooooan* Just about. Come, help me up, and we shall strike a manly pose.’


Credibility restored!

The end

Credit to: Nintendo for the game and characters; the writers of Captain N: The Game Master for the Icarus-speak, the name of Kid Liquorice, and various stolen lines; Richmal Crompton, for William and Violet Elizabeth (“All right, William, darling.”) and me, for the story, super-amazing creativity and Kiki.



  1. lul said,

    and sorry for bad English

  2. lul said,

    and what is Kthnxbai mean? kick through by

    • Ouran High Host Club said,

      Kthnxbai = ok, thanks, bye 🙂

  3. Neko Izanaku said,

    Haha, nice story! X3 I dunno, it’s agreeable that Pit looks rather ambiguous.
    “Dopius maximus!” I learned to love that and the -icus words. XD
    And finally, sure, Marth’s pose is so manly. *rolls eyes*
    Kthnxbai =3

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